"What Do People Thank You For?"

It’s an off-beat question, one you don’t ask the cashier at the register, or even your loved ones over dinner.  And it’s aimed at assessing your innate gifts.  What makes you you.  The theme song and number of lights and weird prizes of your internal pinball machine (isn’t that what life feels like sometimes?).  And I’ve been really struggling with it.  

Not because people don’t thank me, though.  Mostly because I’ve spent the majority of my life not listening.  I block it out.  Next!

And this goes way back--I remember being rather good at baseball when I was a young.  I was the “home run king” of my coaches pitch league--I hit something like 23 in-the-park home runs; to boot, I was a team player, and encouraged others with spirit.  Yet when the parents of my teammates (or my own parents) would praise my leadership abilities, or for hitting another home run, I would cringe and veer away.  I didn’t want to hear it.  It made me writhe on the inside.  Eventually, my baseball skills withered to match my self-esteem--nada.  

The question boils down to a self-love thing.  Which might be the greatest affliction of our time, given how often we subconsciously compare ourselves to others on social media.  

I’ve had to make a conscious effort to accept praise, and to acknowledge the way someone sees me.  It’s hard, because the hard-wiring I’ve developed says, “Oh no, that’s not me!  Uh-uh!  Get that ish outta here!”  

News flash, kiddo: it IS you!  

Recently, a friend commented that I have a wonderful presence.  I caught myself before blocking it out, and simply replied, “Thanks man, that’s really incredible of you to say.”  

When I sat down with a pen and paper to answer this question, what do you think was the first thing that came to my mind?

Presence.  Makes sense, right?  

After all, we all know what an honor it is to be seen, to feel loved.  There’s nothing more human.  How often though, it’s simply us that gets in the way.  

If you don’t believe in yourself, or have a hard time naming your uniqueness, listen closely to what others are saying.  Just listen.  Maybe you’ll hear a part of yourself talking.